★★★★★
Free (though bizarre) Remedy for Diarrhea. I have discovered that the best immediate cure for diarrhea is masturbation. I'd rather not go into detail about how I found this out, but it works. I think it has something to do with the contraction of the sphincter upon ejaculation. I can only imagine that no one else has discovered this, because it's probably the last thing anyone would think to do when they have indigestion. I have no proof that it works with females, as my wife has been reluctant to try it. But for guys like myself, you'll never need to drink Pepto again.
