★★★★★
One day, I awoke and couldn't breathe through my nose at all. Unfortunately it stayed like this all day. I headed to Earth Clinic where I found the suggestion to snort some cayenne. I could hear my mother's voice in my head questioning whether this was really such a good idea. I didn't listen to mother, and used the "it sounds the most extreme and must therefore work the best" logic. I started off by taking about 1/4tbs of cayenne and split it into two separate piles on my right and left index fingers, prayed to every religious figure I could think of, and snorted as hard as I could, one index finger into each nostril. At first it burned. I told myself to man up and deal with it and it will be fine. Then, it blazed. My eyes were watering attempting to put out the fire that was now in my nasal passages. Being the genius that I am, I attempted to wipe the tears with my hands. Turns out there was still cayenne the fingers I used to wipe my eyes. I've been poked in the eye, punched in the eye, spit in the eye, kicked in the eye, scratched in the eye--none of which compared to what I was experiencing. Frantically trying to rinse my eyes out to ease the pain and gulping down milk as the blaze had gone down the back of my throat I had nearly given up hope. I was convinced my eyes were ready to fall out and I had destroyed what was left of my sinuses. Ready to end it all I headed to get my rifle (or possibly some whiskey) when I took a deep breath through my nose. Sweet clarity. Sweet, sweet nasal clarity.
Sinus Congestion
★★★★★
