Laughter Remedies

Joke Department

Posted by Michael (New Zealand) on 08/14/2021
★★★★★

The interviewer asked an old man on his 99th birthday the secrets to his longevity. He replied, "For better digestion I drink beer. In case of appetite loss I drink white wine. In case of low blood pressure I drink red wine. In the event of high blood pressure I drink whiskey. When I have a cold I drink scotch.”

The interviewer was amazed and inquired, "When do you drink water?"

"I don't." he responded, "I've never been that sick."

Cheers.

Michael from Down Under

Joke Department

Posted by Michael (New Zealand) on 03/09/2017
★★★★★

A Quote from"The Two Ronnies":-

"And in a packed show tonight, we'll be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who can no longer make ends meet".

(P.S. Any advice to assist him/her?)

Joke Department

Posted by Michael (New Zealand) on 03/09/2017
★★★★★

Medical Notes:-

And Corporal Clappy is not a happy chappy. Still, you can't be a saint with his complaint. No, nobody similes with piles. Still, it's worse for the nurse.

From Barmy Army

Joke Department

Posted by Michael (New Zealand) on 03/05/2017
★★★★★

Doctor: "Do any of your family members suffer from Insanity?"

Patient: "No doctor, most of them are quite happy with it."

Joke Department

Posted by Michael (New Zealand) on 01/31/2017
★★★★★

Psychiatrist (to Patient lying on couch): "Now you must be completely open and honest with me if I am to help you lead a better life. What seems to be troubling you?"

Patient: "Doctor, I have this insatiable urge and compulsion to eat cocktail glasses. I just can't help myself."

Psychiatrist: "Oh my goodness, what, you eat the whole glass?"

Patient: "Yes the whole thing. Oh, except for the stems of course! "

Psychiatrist: "Oh dear, you really ought to try them. They're the best part."

AND

Doctor: "Nurse Jones, did you take this Patient's temperature?"

Nurse Jones: "No Doctor. Why? Is it missing?"

Cheers, Michael

Joke Department

Posted by Michael (New Zealand) on 01/26/2017
★★★★★

"Doctor, Doctor, My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film! "
"Hmmmm. Let's hope nothing develops."

Cheers, Michael

Joke Department

Posted by Michael (New Zealand) on 12/16/2016
★★★★★

I went to my Doctor last week and I asked him, "Do you have anything for wind"?

He gave me a kite!

Joke Department

Posted by Michael (New Zealand) on 12/13/2016
★★★★★

This Guy goes to his Doctor and says:

"Doctor, doctor, I am really worried! I think I have broken my arm in several places. I need your advice. What should I do?"

And the Good Doctor says:

"I strongly urge you not to go back to those places".

Joke Department

Posted by Michael (New Zealand) on 12/11/2016
★★★★★

This guy goes to the Doctor and says,

"Doctor, doctor, I am really worried, I am shrinking! I am getting smaller each and every day, you have to help me!"

And the Good Doctor says,

"Now, now, calm down. You will just have to learn to be a little patient."

Cheers, Michael

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Laughter Remedies